I stroll down Nipponbashi Dori, as is my liking for a lazy Sunday in Osaka, and stop for some takogoyaki. You haven’t had good takogoyaki until you’ve tried it from Nakamura’s stand near Kujimori Gamu Centa. The experience is akin to deflowering a nubile Nihonjin geisha. As I peel back the first petal – sorry. Sweet Jesus, sorry. I wanted to try writing like Tim Rogers. I had some stuff about bumping in to Hideo Kojima, but I got nauseous writing as much as I have.

What I’m actually here to talk about is the disillusionment of otakudom. I’m writing from my dorm room at the University of Miyazaki in Kyushu, Japan. What events ultimately lead me to be here? Though I am loath to admit it, video games and anime. I remember when I first started studying Japanese in college. I got myself a Japanese language partner. In one of our first conversations I proudly proclaimed that I was an otaku. I still recall the mixed expression of revulsion and puzzlement on her face. I might as well have told her I had syphilis. Her reaction confused me just as much. “Whats wrong with liking nerdy Japanese things?” In the U.S. ‘nerd’ is a positive term. It has come a long way since the Fonz first coined the phrase. Computers and video games are mainstream and embraced by nearly all; shouldn’t this hold true for the Japanese equivalent of the term nerd?

Well as it turns out, like the many other terms weeaboos have adopted from Japanese language, they totally misinterpreted otaku as well. An otaku isn’t someone who enjoys a good game of KoF in between going out with his girlfriend and contributing to society in a positive manor. An otaku is apparently a vile, scum-sucking, lecherous fiend. The likes of which should – nay – must be rounded up and shot. You may have heard the term hikikomori: A Japanese person who shuns all outside and social interaction in favor of an escapist digital world. The closest U.S. equivalent would be that friend of yours that you never see anymore because they now play WoW twenty hours day. One night you bumped into him at the supermarket (the only outside excursions these people have). You said “hey, how’s it going?” and were met with a ten minute rant about his latest raid followed up by bitching about the balance changes made in the last patch. Your friend is so hopelessly lost he can’t even understand that you don’t give a shit.

It’s fun to exaggerate and embellish. It makes your pathetic, mundane life seem interesting when you talk about it. But I’m not exaggerating. Hikikomori, of which there are many, have rejected normal life to the point where they no longer understand it. 10-year-olds are not meant to be sex objects. It’s no wonder the associated term otaku is met with disdain and contempt in Japan. Normal people don’t play video games (as we know them) in Japan. Apart from casual DS and Wii games, the only other mainstream gaming is online or in game centers (arcades). Most of these game centers have given up on normal arcade cabinets, and only keep music games and UFO caters (crane games), with perhaps a few guncon games thrown in. I don’t try to hide my affinity for gaming here in Japan, but when asked what games I like, I reply ”Super Mario”. I want to say “right now I’ve been playing a lot of Dodonpachi Dai Ou Jou”, but they don’t want to hear that. They don’t know what the hell that is. They want to hear “Super Mario”, so that they can laugh and say “Haha, I like Super Mario too”. Then I die on the inside just a little more.

Back in America we have a culture of Japanophiles trying to emulate a different, imaginary culture. It’s not their fault. They don’t know better. But it is sick. Go to an anime convention if you don’t believe me. Even when the Japanese hardcore video game industry dies out, anime will be there to pervert actual Japanese culture in the eyes of ignorant American high-school students and adults who can’t grow up. I understand all too well he appeal of Japanese escapist media, but as my life takes me from otakudom to someone who theoretically could eek out a life in Japanese society, I look back and can do nothing but cringe.

Enjoy games. Enjoy anime. Enjoy Pocky if you absolutly must. But for the love of all that is holy and good, don’t identify with them.